How To Build Self Confidence



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Self-confidence is the first requirement to success, when you are confident in yourself, you can overcome and handle any situation that comes your way. 

Everyone what to be self-confidence, this self-confidence is easy to spot, but not everyone has the willingness to develop it, most people don't know how to build it, Self-confidence takes the process to develop gradually it doesn't just happen overnight, it starts with you appreciating your wins, seeing the good in yourself no matter how small.


What is Self-confident

Self-confident can be define or seen as a feeling of self-assurance from appreciating your unique qualities and abilities, It’s that inner belief that you are good enough and inherently worthy, it is also an inner job of garnishing and uplifting the pages of your heart with strength and courage.

However, accepting your flaws and imperfections is what makes you unique, wrapping yourself with boldness and courage is what makes you confident and is mandatory for growth


Self-confidence is a phase that must be earn through the challenges, obstacles, and barriers life exposes to you. One thing you should understand and admit is everyone has a cut of insecurity in them, so you feeling unconfident in yourself, is ok, and it can be work on for you to emerge a champion.

Self-confidence people confront challenges because they know they are up to the task, and their self-worth doesn't depend on the outcome, they put in their best in everything they do, and their motive is to pursue their goal without thinking twice and processing it too much.

Planting confidence in the ground of your soul can be quite a challenge, especially the moment when hell is let loose on you, and survival is carried out like a weapon of war against yourself, where you go through turbulent times, shackles of rejection, and depression of the heart, you can't help but question the existence of negative things around you.

It's never easy to trust the process, especially when it seems all hope is lost, and fear with uncertainty grips your soul.

But we mustn't subject ourselves to the thought of confusion, helplessness, and doubt, but put ourselves in the process where we create a strong hood of strength and boldness, renew our identity, and align it with our purpose.


Fear, lack of trust, doubt, lack of confidence, and disappointment are elements that have killed the happiness and joy in the lives of people for years, affecting their confidence.

The risk taken, the choice made, the approach to decisions, response to life challenges can level up self-confidence.

Peer pressure, social pressure, and our environment can build up our self-confidence or entrust us with a lack of confidence

The decisions we make and our approach to circumstances can affect our self-confidence. So here are a few tips drafts for you on building self-confidence.


So here are a few tips drafted for you on building self-confidence.


1. Address Negative Talk, Embrace Positivity

Some of the many causes of low confidence are unhappy childhood where parents (or other significant people such as friends, best friends, and teachers) were extremely critical with words towards you, your belief in the negative words said to you at that time shaped your mindset negatively into the present, holding on to those words place a bangle of lack of confidence that entwined with your being affecting every area of your lives.

I remember growing up in a neighborhood, where a neighbor close to my parent's house was always talking down on her child sarcastically it affects her esteem so much that she found it difficult to mingle with us, and even when she did, timidity and fear was a grip to her soul, she couldn't see herself worthy to be around us, why because her self confidence has been puncture. When you let the word of people sink over what you think for yourself you are going to lose your confidence

You have to speak into existence, renew and shape your mindset, and Address that negative thought with positivity. If you constantly drain yourself with negative words or accept the criticizing words of people concerning you, you will only be stunted in your growth. 

You have to employ positive words over yourself, and your life. You don't have to see yourself in the mirror painted to you by someone else,  create your own mirror, see yourself in a positive light, fan yourself out of the shackles of criticism, rejection, disappointment, obstacles, and fear, Embrace your strength and create a world of your own with a positive mindset


What you believe is always going to happen, because you create your world with your words, if you believe things are going to be bad, it's likely going to be, if you believe what people say about you negatively is true, is likely going to happen, you can't always think negative of yourself and expect people to think highly of you,  you can't look less on yourself and expect the universe to do otherwise, so change your belief and your mindset, believe in yourself and you will see the reward in it.

look yourself in the mirror and see the good in yourself, speak positive words to yourself,

I don't need man's validation to be me, what I need, everything I need is within me

confidence resides in me

I take charge of my today, my tomorrow, and my future

I'm embroider with the garment of boldness and strength, so I'm free from the fears of failure


Take the pain to write down all the special and unique attributes about you, say it out loud over yourself, envision yourself in it, walk like it, talk like it, do whatever you need to do to believe in your vision and purpose about you, and see it manifest gradually then speedily.



2. Acknowledge Your Weakness 


2. Acknowledge Your Weakness


Embracing my flaws and weaknesses has been the greatest evolution in my life, I acknowledge that I'm a human with flaws, that is all part of my makeup, and I don't feed on it, but is essential for my growth, this build up a confident in me knowing fully well that I'm enough for me.

If you live on a man's compliment and carve out yourself based on what they say about you, you will become a shadow of yourself and live a miserable life. Knowing that you have a weakness, and accepting this weakness is a firm foundation of your strength and uniqueness, once you acknowledge your weakness, you start taking a bold step to be that person you want to be.

Listen, your weakness doesn't define you, you have to understand that you are unique, and you have been dress with abundance even in your state of imperfection.

You are strong even in the face of your flaws and weakness, learn to accept who you are, as you walk your way into the process of improvement and development.


3. Conquer Insecurity

Confident people don’t need validation from others to acknowledge their achievements, Instead, they are like their own cheerleaders and they trust their inner compass for guidance

Many insecurities today have their root in comparison, competition with self, oh I wish this, oh  I wish That. Society has paint a picture of satisfaction of false images appearing real, where you get oppose and concern yourself so much about the attention of your peer group who you think are doing just better than you, do not judge yourself with someone else's life, it will surprise you that most of the time it is just camouflage.

You don't have to feel insecure because of someone's achievement, you might not have gotten to the climax of your goal doesn't mean you won't get there, applaud other achievements and see the need to press forward.

In a world where slim bodies are more appreciated than fat bodies, you don't have to feel insecure because of your looks, embrace yourself with all dignity wrapped in divinity, you are a tremendous work of grace, don't trade your confidence for insecurity,

Learn to love yourself, only on that ground will people love you too. It got to a point in my life I had to accept certain insecurities in me whenever that specific area was mocked I found humourous ways to address it or even appreciate the person for noting it, responding to them in a brash and nice manner telling them that's where my beauty lies, and whenever I respond in that manner, they become speechless and appreciate my personality, the thoughts to feel insecure or let the appearance or achievement of other make me feel less of myself or make me feel insecure became silent. 


Most insecurities are build on trends in society. Today they love a wide shape and tomorrow the narrative is different. And we're busy swinging different direction without an actual focus on who we want to be, we allow ourselves to be sway by society's passing demands and trends, affecting our confidence, feeling insecure by things life possesses.


Beautify those insecurities by letting people not pay attention to them. Don't try to hide your insecurities by trying to alter who you are. Instead, conquer the insecurity, and beautify yourself with confidence. 


4. Groom Yourself Up

When you teach your brain about limitation, you become limited, when you see yourself as a nobody your brain receives you that way, you are a reflection of your thought. So is good you groom yourself rightly, your mind is always listening to your thoughts, and he advises himself from what he listens.


For you to be confident in yourself, you have to drop the bag of perfection and conform your mind to the realistic of your person, this involves taking the wheel of your thought, discarding every negative reflection you have mirrored yourself in over the year, and harbor a positive picture of you, because you are what you think, you are a reflection of your thought.


Cultivate the habit of having positive thinking, your thoughts are seeds that birth a belief into reality, so there has to be a constant reminder for your thoughts to always think positive, grooming yourself in the class of positivity is important for growth.



5. Cut Back On Pleasing People 


A Lot of people tend to please people and displease themselves just to be in the good book of others, but the truth is you can't please people, the more you try, the more you hate yourself


There are people who make you feel less of yourself, you don't need such people around you, any one who makes you feel less of yourself, and who you place above yourself is not worth your circle, the good book says love your neighbour as yourself not more than yourself, so when you find yourself in a place where you please others to displease yourself or please others more than yourself, you cut off from such people.


Get rid of toxic people that make you feel bad and less confident when you don't do certain things in their favour, get rid of toxic people that make you feel bad and less confident whenever something good comes your way, and get rid of toxic people who don't speak good of you, and embrace your personality, having such people in your life reduces your confident and you will never see anything good in yourself.








When you smile, it can also have a positive effect on your self-confidence. A smile is such an important function that it can trigger a chemical reaction to boost your mood, While depression is known to weaken the immune system, happiness has the inverse effect and can boost the body’s resistance.


We believe there are numerous reasons why smiles are important. A genuine smile does not have to be perfect, it is unique, beautiful, and contagious, and you are a representation of that smile, all you have to do is to see yourself in your reflection positively, and embroider yourself in the garment of confident, and your smile will radiate from inside out.


However, when you feel self-conscious about your smile, due to your blooming thought of positivity you will find out that living a confident life, is an easier and quicker process than you thought. A brighter smile can boost your confidence and make people love you for who you are. 






Be confident, be bold, too many comparisons of self out there, and only those people whose strength lies in their confidence can over the challenges of life, don't waste your time comparing yourself with others, everybody has their areas of specialty, so build up your confidence to succeed the world out there.


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xoxo, Denoshe
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  • Kevin Aboytes says:

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    • Admin says:

      Thank you so much


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